Richard Mackey

December 6,2011

I woke up about 3 am with this dream.

I was at the nursing home to visit dad  We were told it would be anytime now.
To get to his room, there was a short hallway that turned, then opened into the room.  There was a lot of people in the hallway. As I came up to the doorway, I met dad.  Surprised I looked at him like "why or how are you here?"
 
He looked like a younger version of himself.  His face was full, not sunken in like a dying man.  His skin was like a baby's, very moist and clear, no wrinkles, blemishes or scars.  I think he was wearing his glasses, but I did notice his blue eyes - very blue.  He wore a white shirt, with a baby blue argyle sweater vest.
   
I'm not sure if we actually talked or just knew each others thoughts.  I was like "dad, you look great."  I could feel his love for me.  He had a very loving and gentle smile on his face, not that of sadness.  Then just like that it was understood that he had to go his way and I had to go mine. 

I then walked into his room, just as the nurse was straightening his body, then covered it.  I was looking back and forth - didn't I just see him in the hallway?  Is this a dream?  Was he dead or alive?  Then the words "Heaven's Gate" came to me.  I believe I was privileged to see my father walk from death to his eternal heavenly home.  This story came to me soon after.

NOTE:  Later this day I received word my Uncle Ned, dad's brother, died earlier the night before. 

HEAVEN'S GATE

So many years ago your spirit left through Heaven's Gate to come to earth to become Richard "Dick" Mackey. As a child. with your whole future ahead of you, choices made, bring you to the man you are today.  You were a son, brother, took a wife and became a father.  And a friend to most you met.  You took an oath to protect your country, became a war hero (to us later in life, after you were able to tell a few stories).   As my father we had some good times; pet monkey and horse, homemade doll house, Christmas home movies with that hugh flood light!  There was also some bad times.  But what family doesn't have them too. 

A lot of years just slipped away with everyday life, me raising my kids, work and school , not talking as much as we should have.  I cherish the last few years with you, when me and Theresa visited you on Father's Day and you and Gloria came to Kansas on Thanksgiving, eating chili and watching football. 

Now you are somewhere between twlight and death, all of your loved ones around you, holding your hand, conforting each other, waiting for the inevitable. You woke up at one point, looked around and asked me if I was still there?  I told you I would be there as long as needed.   

Death is a reality of life, no matter how painful or how welcomed.  We will miss you and grieve your passing.  As I sat and held your hand at one of lifes most initmate times, I felt all and any regrets, pain from childhood and hatred just go way, leave.  No more resentment, regrets, nothing.  Just His love and acceptance.  That is priceless to me. 

As death creeps in the room and you life ebbs away, ceases to exist, your body or shell is left on earth.  But your soul has to go somewhere.  My prayer for you dad, is that your salvation has already been decided by you, your choice, not through baptism as a child or good works as a man.  But that you have accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior.  It's that easy, just accept Him. 

Dad, walk through Heaven's Gate and receive your reward and meet your LORD.

Hello, I’m Alexia, Dick’s grand-daughter, Penny’s daughter. I loved grandpa very much and hope I make it through this eulogy – forgive me if I stumble a bit.

 

We are gathered here today to honor the life of Richard Francis Mackey, “Dick” as family and friends know him, who was born April 19, 1925, in East Boston, and passed into his next life on January 11, 2011. He was 85.

 

Losing a loved one is one of the most difficult things we can go through. The number of people present here tells me the number of lives he touched as a son, brother, father, grandfather, friend and comrade-in-arms. I feel a great responsibility summing up what he meant to so many so I’m going to share with you some of my memories of my grandpa.

 

He was a wonderful grandpa, very kind and very stubborn. I’m very glad I got to know him and that I was close to him. I got to visit him every summer since I was three, when my mother decided she wanted my sister and me to know our grandfather as we grew up. The first time I saw him, I didn’t understand then why my mother had taken me all the way across the country to visit this cantankerous old man. My sister and I remember him frequently saying to us when we hugged him, “Get away from me kid ya bother me.” Looking back I feel my time with him was like the story of Heidi: a little girl forced to spend time with her grandfather and gradually realizing that under the gruff shell, there was a tender and loving man.

 

One of the many distinctive things I remember about him was how he smelled; it was, I believe, the second thing I ever noticed about him. I don’t usually associate people with smells, but his was so strong and it made me feel safe, protected, at home. When I first walked into his apartment, it smelled just like him. It was the Brut cologne. Coming back to his apartment after a hard day’s sightseeing, we came home and the smell just made me relax.

I walked into his apartment on Saturday night and the smell was gone… I felt lost and disoriented without it.

 

Everyone who knew him knew how proud he was of being in the Navy. My sister and I were constantly being bombarded with pictures of his comrades from the McGowan and stories about life at sea. The one that stands out most clearly in my mind was the story of how the crew on the McGowan couldn’t wash the dishes properly and he was always having to wash them again. The first time I attempted to wash his dishes, he felt the water and told me, “You gotta wash the dishes with haut whada.” Later on, I felt guilty about not having properly washed the dishes, so when I started washing dishes at home, I used hotter and hotter water, just to please him. The next time I visited him, and washed the dishes, he came over and felt the water and said, “This whada’s too haut.”

 

Anyone who knew my grandpa knew he served in the navy in WW2 onboard the McGowan in the Pacific. He was such an unassuming guy you may not know that:

·        at seventeen he served in Iceland for nearly a year;

·        he was a Navy swimmer who rescued 6 downed pilots; and

·        he received a total of 11 decorations for serving his country.

 

His devotion to the DAV and the VFW was obvious to me very early on. Every morning when we visited he would first take me the “Post”, to pick up the cash and make a bank deposit . . . then stop at Dunkin Donuts for coffee for him and a donut for me.

 

We met Gloria, the love-of-his-life, on our first visit. He called her Brenda??? I’m very happy he found someone like Gloria who could take care of him, and love him, and still not take any crap from him. They made a wonderful couple.

 

Most of all I remember my grandpa did things his own way. No words can express what I am feeling right now and I’m sure only time can help me accept the fact of his passing.

 

As you know, Dick has been endlessly generous with the community through his dedicated and patriotic endeavors and with all of us who have been fortunate enough to know him.

Grandpa, thank you so much for sharing your life and your love.

I love you.

In fourth grade, they needed a parent to help "corral" kids on our field trip down the Freedom Trail (Bunker hill monument, etc.). I raised my hand before I knew it, and volunteered my self-employed dad. Oh crap, they went for it...now I have to break the news to my dad. Dad was a hard taskmaster, we called him the "slave driver" behind his back. Like my wife Linda's dad, who called himself the "judge, jury, and executioner", the John Wayne generation was like the joke about John Wayne toilet paper, (it's rough and tough and doesn't take any crap) The field trip day shows up, and there's my stern dad, in front of all my new schoolmates. I was shrinking deep into the seat on the bus, when some of the cutest girls were giggling and having fun with this man I had never met. I'll be damned, if it ain't my dad!!! At the end of the day, my friends and schoolmates all thanked me for my "cool" dad, and they went on and on talking about this guy I didn't get to see again, until my own kids were in his presence. Thanks dad, for that day, and by the way, me and my buddies still passed you up, twice, walking up and down Bunker Hill monument. But, and now I appreciate this, you did all 365 steps. You prepared me for the tough times in life, and it was an honor to follow you and Dennis into the Navy. -Steve